Photo taken By Darlene McKinney New Paris, OH
Depression: Can Be a Lonely, Dark Place - Darlene McKinney ©Copyright 2026
I know about depression, because I have struggled all my life with it. Although on the outside I appear strong, confident, laughing, and smiling. I am a survivor. But as you may know, depression can creep back in and get you when you least expect it.
Sometimes you can’t even explain why you don’t feel good, why you aren’t yourself, why you can’t shut your mind off, why you feel unworthy, why you feel sad, anxious, scared, hurt, and just sick.
I can’t tell you how many conversations that I have had with my husband, oldest son, close friends, and family members about depression. Some of them experience depression and some have loved ones or children who experience depression.
What I do know is depression affects many of us in the world and the people who we care about.” Darlene McKinney
Let’s Google the Facts We Can Learn from Studies on Depression
Yes, depression is classified as a mood and mental disorder. [1, 2]
Classification & Key Facts
Official Recognition: Major medical and mental health organizations—including the
American Psychiatric Association (via the DSM-5) and the
World Health Organization—officially classify clinical depression as a mood disorder. [1, 2]
Not Just Sadness: While feeling sad or grieving is a normal human emotion, clinical depression is a persistent medical and psychological condition lasting most of the day, nearly every day, for at least two weeks. [1, 2]
Common Types: According to the
Cleveland Clinic, major depressive disorder (MDD) and persistent depressive disorder are among the most frequently diagnosed forms. [1]
Biological and Environmental Causes: It stems from a complex mix of brain chemistry, genetics, life stress, and trauma—it is not a personal failure or weakness. [1, 2]
Treatability: Depression is a manageable and treatable health condition that typically responds well to psychotherapy (such as cognitive behavioral therapy), medication, or a combination of both. [1, 2]
The summary is that depression is manageable and treatable, if we participate or try to seek treatment. But we must personally act on this ourselves or intervene and suggest someone care about who is struuggling with depression to seek treatment.
What I have learned is that we don’t trust the medication that our physicians prescribe us. We feel it’s the same as putting poison in our bodies. So, we don’t seek treatment. Or we have been on a previous medication similar and experienced side effects. We don’t or won’t seek treatment. From the conversations I have had, I have learned that we just live with it.
Conversations with others have also taught me that we think therapy is a waste of time. Again, we don’t seek therapy, we just live with it.
In my opinion, living with it is hard, hard, and gets harder.
We must act for ourselves instead of living in this hard, unhappy, and lonely dark place. The work must come from you.
You can ask for others’ help, advice, and support, but you know that with anything in your life that you want to change, the truth is the change must come from YOU!
You must take action to make health changes. It is your responsibility to take care of yourself. Here are actions you can do right away.
Talk to someone. Doctor, friend or family, mentor, or therapist.
It may take you several therapists before you find one that you can relate to. And that’s okay. Just having someone with an outside perspective can help guide you when you feel lost—can be incredible and life changing.
Take medication
It may take you several medications before you find one that you can relate to. No of us want to be on medication, but when you realize or your family and friends point out to you that they are concerned about you, please listen. It’s a RED FLAG. I have had so many loved ones say that “finding a medication that helped is way better than feeling like I did.” Or “It’s better than the alternative.” Or “I enjoy my life now.” Or “I feel so much better.” That is worth it.
Take control of your health in the best ways possible.
Yes, that means buckle down and eat real, whole food and cut out sugar and processed foods. Yes, that means doing things that keep you positive and that you enjoy. Yes, that means getting moving. Have you seen all the videos out where people of all ages are just doing a few moves each day for mobility, joints, muscles, and heart. These are simple. You can do them. But you are choosing to stay put, which is destroying your mood, mind, and body! Moving makes you feel alive and healthy. It boosts your mood and helps you love your life again!
NOTE: I recommend Martial Arts to anyone or any age. Especially junior high and high school age boys or girls to keep their confidence up, help them socialize, make good choices, and stay grounded.
Common reference lists of 11 major martial arts typically include a blend of striking, grappling, internal, and hybrid styles from around the world:
Muay Thai: Known as the "Art of Eight Limbs," this Thai striking sport utilizes fists, elbows, knees, and shins.
Taekwondo: A modern Korean martial art focused heavily on fast, high, and spinning kicking techniques.
Karate: An Okinawan/Japanese discipline emphasizing linear punches, blocks, and sharp striking.
Kung Fu: A broad term for diverse Chinese martial arts (such as Shaolin or Wing Chun) focusing on flowing movement and discipline.
Judo: A Japanese grappling art centered on off-balancing opponents to execute throws, pins, and joint locks.
Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ): A ground-fighting and submission art that uses leverage, chokes, and joint locks.
Aikido: A Japanese non-violent style focused on redirecting an attacker's momentum and applying wrist or arm locks.
Kickboxing: A hybrid stand-up combat sport blending western boxing punches with karate-style kicks.
Boxing: A Western sport centered strictly on upper-body punches, head movement, and footwork.
Wrestling: An ancient, global grappling style utilizing takedowns, clinches, and positional pin controls.
Tai Chi: A slow, internal Chinese martial art practiced for balance, breath control, and health.
Take Action Today— Move Forward in Your Own Life
There have been a lot of different challenges in each of our lives. Almost everyone we know goes through hard seasons, painful relationships, and situations they just didn’t see coming. We must try our best to deal with the pain, write about the pain, or talk about the pain or situation. When you feel you “got it all the emotions out, Realize right there that it’s gone. It’s done It’s over. let it go, and move on. We must find our smile again because that pain and trauma is over. You don’t live there anymore. And remember sometimes moving on means making hard choices about who has access to you.
That doesn’t mean you won’t have triggers, because you will. Have an affirmation statement in your head ready to say, even out loud, to get rid of those thoughts when they come rushing back in. Some affirmation statements that I like…
“I can handle this step by step.”
“ I can make mistakes and still learn.”
“ I am doing my best today.”
“ I cannot control what other people say, think, or do.”
Pay attention to the way people make you feel when you are around them. If the feeling is telling you something isn’t safe or right, it’s time to walk away, shut doors, cut off communication, or love from afar. The BEST advice I had ever been given and the BEST advice that I like to give out!
Contact me through email if you would be willing to have me as a mentor and we will schedule a time and date good for your. Mentor & Motivator sessions are $55 and last 40 minutes via Zoom or 55 minutes on phone. Email and request a session to hello@darlenemckinney.com
Visit www.darlenemckinney.com for blogs, digital downloads, guides, and more!
Best Wishes,