Releasing Your Pain, Hurt, And Anger - Resource/ Blog ©2026 Darlene Mckinney All Rights Reserved
It’s critical to release your pain, hurt, and anger for your true healing. And I am speaking from my personal experience and journey. It’s what I have learned trudging through deep pain, hurt, betrayal, and disappointment.
This type of pain changes who you are. It changes how your entire view on people and life. It’s mind blowing what people can do to do or say to other people. It’s mind blowing that you can give someone love, respect, honesty, support, love, and committment and never recieve any of the back in return. It’s mind blowing what people put you through and when you finally HAVE had enough of the abuse or pain or hurt and you explode, how quickly and loudly you become the “bad person.” …And when you finally reach your breaking point, suddenly YOU become the problem.
Isn't that something?
People can repeatedly hurt you, disrespect you, manipulate you, cross your boundaries, and push you emotionally to places you never wanted to go. You can cry, stay quiet, forgive, make excuses, and keep giving people chance after chance.
But the moment you finally react, raise your voice, or stand up for yourself, everyone wants to focus on YOUR reaction instead of what pushed you to that point.
They remember your explosion but conveniently forget everything that led up to it.
Here's something important to remember:
Your pain matters, even when you struggle to express it.
Your feelings are valid, even when others don't understand them.
You are allowed to reach your limit.
You are allowed to establish boundaries.
You are allowed to walk away from people who continually hurt you.
You can take accountability for how you reacted without accepting blame for everything someone put you through.
Sometimes the person everyone calls difficult is simply the person who is finally tired of being mistreated.
And healing begins when you stop allowing other people's behavior to determine how much peace you get to have.
This is the HUGE step that you cannot miss. It’s what your body, mind, heart, and soul craves You will stay stuck until it is all released. You will stay depressed and nervous until it’s all released. You will stay restless and drained until it’s released. You will feel anger and betrayal and hate until it’s released.
Do you get what I am telling you? Do you hear me loud and clear? If you avoid it, you stay drowning. If you walk through it and face it, you come out better, stronger, and healthier. And you don’t need any person or people responsible for your pain or anger to participate in the release.
People say you need closure or you may feel like you need closure. You can give yourself closure. It’s okay to feel your feelings. Read that again.
People you come across in your lifetime will not be willing and open to talk hard things through. They will refuse. They will have excuses. They will blame you for everything. They are not open to healthy communication. They refuse to be held accountable for their own actions. So, in return it will never be a healthy, loving, caring relationship, as hard as you try. Closure may never, ever come from THEM in your lifetime. You must understand that. You must give yourself the gift of closure. The first time that I heard this was from my husband and then Dr. Sherrie Campbell If you want to read a terrific book about healing yourself after pain or trauma, please read her book You Are Home. It’s an incredible book and I want to support and uplift the movement it has created towards finding comfort, peace, and safety after pain and trauma.
A loving, caring, and healthy relationship practices listening, understanding, empathy compassion, care, love, openness, validation, encouragement, support, and creating a safe place. If it is not reciprocated back to you, it is a toxic relationship.
You keep moving in the direction to “Love Your Life again.” And give yourself credit for doing this because it’s an incredibly challenging thing to do. I did it, you can do it too. Be your biggest cheerleader, always!
Next step, you will want to download and participate in the encouraging and helpful printable download Guide that I have written to Releasing Your Pain, Hurt, And Anger – Coming Soon to my SHOP at www.darlenemckinney.com